Friendship And Love: Can 2 ISTPs Get Along? - The Personality Room (2024)

Finding out more about your personality type and who you might be compatible with is a great way to maximize your quality of life and avoid running into problems. While personality categories aren’t everything, they can give you some great insight into how you interact with others, and who you’re likely to be compatible with.

How Do ISTPs Socialize?

ISTPs are pretty famous for their desire for solitude, and they are positively energized by their “alone time,” which causes a lot of people to feel uncertain about whether they can really be friends with them.

Add that to their preference for spontaneity rather than planning, and their love of logic over emotion, and it’s easy to see why this personality type is sometimes seen as a little tricky to get along with, at least from some perspectives.

You might think that means the answer to how ISTPs socialize is that they don’t, given the choice, but it’s not really that simple. ISTPs still like to spend time with others and have a lot to offer when it comes to socializing, if it’s in the right context.

You shouldn’t assume that ISTPs can never connect with or be friends with others, therefore. While they might seem reserved and aloof, and they do tend to prefer action to words, they can still form strong, meaningful relationships with the people around them.

Are Two ISTPs Compatible?

In theory, two ISTPs can be compatible, but it does take a bit of effort and understanding on both sides to make a relationship work. This is because ISTPs are, on the whole, enormously self-sufficient and independent, and don’t tend to rely on each other very much.

That said, they can still make caring partners, and if both parties are happy with not receiving much emotional support, it can work well. You’ll find no shortage of logic in your relationship; you’ll both constantly be looking for solutions to problems, and trying to find ways to make yourselves useful.

This can leave a bit of a gap where emotional needs come in, especially in the early parts of the relationship. It often takes time for ISTPs to start opening up emotionally, and they can come across as insensitive occasionally, which may bring some challenges to the relationship.

If romance is an important factor for you, this might be a little trickier, because ISTPs are very rarely romantic in expressive ways. They’ll show their love through support and affection, but you’re not likely to find yourself treated to candlelit dinners or trips to Paris.

That might suit you, of course! If you’re also an ISTP, it’s possible that you don’t want these things, because they aren’t suited to you either. Regardless, as long as you know that this is going to be the case and you’re happy with it, you should be fine.

It’s also worth being aware that one of the advantages of ISTPs dating is that both parties are likely to be even-tempered and calm. The chances are, you’ll have the objectivity to understand when you’re wrong and when your behavior could use improvement.

With a strong love of their independence, ISTPs will often do better together if they can spend time engaging in adventures and enjoying activities. Starting new hobbies, especially those that involve the ISTP’s superior problem-solving skills, could help to build a strong partnership. There may be a lot of overlap in the enjoyed activities, which can be useful.

What Are The Drawbacks Of Two ISTPs Dating?

One characteristic that ISTPs are known for is being a little cold. That doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions or that they’re robotic, but it can make it hard to connect, especially in the early stages. You might doubt whether the other person really has feelings for you, and find that they come across as emotionally detached.

It’s important to bear in mind that it’s often difficult to get to know an ISTP well, and you need to take things slowly. Don’t expect to be best friends overnight. If you’re also in this category, the chances are that you need time to warm up to people too, so bear this in mind and give yourself plenty of space.

Both parties should work hard on their communication skills, and make efforts to be as open and forthcoming about their feelings as they can, even if this is difficult. Making the effort to talk and be straightforward can make an enormous difference to the success of the relationship overall. Both parties should remember this when conflicts arise.

A crucial aspect of starting to date another ISTP is both being clear on your needs and boundaries. When two introverts come together, it’s really important for both to be respectful of the other’s need for time alone. It’s easy for one or both sides to get burnt out if there’s too much of a requirement to socialize – but that can be good news too, if both are content with their own company.

There is a slight danger of ISTP individuals becoming a little too controlling or possessive of each other. Although both are introverted, if one party becomes too needy, the other may start to feel smothered and get frustrated. This can lead to rifts or even a breakup if it’s not carefully managed, so both parties need to take responsibility and be careful.

Can Two ISTPs Be Friends?

Yes, two ISTPs can be friends, and this can have some of the same benefits as two ISTPs dating. However, it does again require some careful balancing and the ability to accept each other’s need for space. At the same time, both parties will have to make an effort to pair that with socializing, to ensure that you do actually spend time together.

Like couples, friends who are both ISTP may benefit from undertaking shared activities that test their problem-solving skills together. This can be a great way to ensure that the friendship gets sufficient time and attention, while undertaking an enjoyable activity.

Bear in mind too that because both sides are likely to struggle to express their emotions, there’s a risk that the friendship may not have much emotional depth. This is particularly true in the early stages, but can continue as the friendship progresses. This can lead to conflicts and frustration, so consider this and work on it if possible.

ISTP friends may also want to set aside a bit of regular time to reflect on their friendship and discuss any problems. Making an effort to communicate openly and talk when there’s an issue. This will make it easier to avoid conflict and build a strong connection.

Conclusion

Two ISTPs can do really well together, both as friends and as romantic partners. However, both sides do need to respect each other’s need for space, and find ways to enhance their communication skills so that they can express how they feel and resolve any problems, rather than leaving them to fester.

Friendship And Love: Can 2 ISTPs Get Along? - The Personality Room (2024)
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